Communication is a key factor in every relationship, whether it be with your spouse, your child, you sibling, or you parents. Communication is one of the biggest things to determine success in any relationship.
The Communication Process
Within two individuals, through communication there is a process that happens with both individuals. The process starts with one individual who has a thought or feeling, they must then encode that and translate the information into a message, This message then is transferred to the other individual through some form of media which then must be decoded by the other individual in the conversation. With the information that is decoded, the other individual then develops thoughts and feelings. It is now that persons turn to translate the information and encode it and the cycle then restarts going towards the other individual.
Media
Popkin talks about the medias of communication. He states what they are and gives the percentage of each that an individual would use.
Words..........14%
Tone.............35%
Nonverbal....51%
Think about that.. Over half of the media in communication is nonverbal. Reflecting on that becomes interesting because nonverbal usually means body language, which then leads us to reflect on how important our body language is while talking to others because they get a lot from our communication. We need to be a lot more conscience about our body language while talking to others because we can say something but our body language could say something else which is where the issue of communication comes in like sarcasm.
Sarcasm is a big part of our society,everyone at almost every age participates in sarcasm which doesn't always come off as a joke. There is always somewhat of truth behind sarcasm which is where people struggle with their friends because they then spend their time trying to find the truth and worry about why they felt enough in a way to say that. Sarcasm is considered corrupt communication because the communication link isn't there. It is referred to as destructive communication because that cold barrier in between two individuals shows that sarcasm leaves pain in the other person on the other side.
"I Feel..." Statements
When (situation/event)
I feel/felt (emotions)
Because (thought)
I would like (want/wish/home)
This all becomes one statement in a conversation and shows how one would feel by communicating in an excellent and healthy way. Think of times when you were in a situation, how did you handle it? Was it in a positive way? Did you do it in a healthy way? Using these statements helps us to learn how to deal with our emotions and communicate effectively to those around us when we need to.
Effective Communication
David Burns talks about the secrets of effective communication. He states how these secrets can help strengthen communication between people.
Empathy : Disarming technique- find the truth, find what you did and let the other person know you messed up and the other person will likely find what they did and apologize for that. This is shown to be the best technique and most successful for all relationships.
Assertiveness : Use the “I feel” statements to show that you do care and are being assertive in this situation to make it better
Respect : Affirmation. Use affirmations both to yourself and to the other person to show that you have the respect and see them as another person and not viewing them as an object.
If we take into considerations these effective communication skills, then we have a better change of making relationships work with our loved ones. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and follow these steps of effective communicating we will set ourselves up for success in our future relationships.
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